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Tormented Girl by Pablo Picasso |
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Written by Karen Haley
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Thursday, 01 October 2009 00:00 |
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By Karen Haley  “Tormented Girl” by Pablo Picasso depicts… well… a hilariously grotesque tormented girl.
I’ve never really been much of a Picasso fan. I guess I just don’t get it. I’d love to spend time with a true Picasso connoisseur who could answer my questions about this painting. Like, does she have four eyes? And what’s that on top of her head? And what’s up with her breasts? What’s wrong with her teeth? Questions like that.
Is the girl in the painting ME?
Today, as I sit here and type, I am not tormented in the least. I’m pleased with just about everything – my hair color, the bowl of pasta I’m eating right now, my relationships… I’m even somewhat comfortable with my own body at this very moment. (I may edit that sentence after I finish this bowl of pasta.)
Last May, I celebrated 16 years of sobriety. That counts for much.
If someone were to walk up to me right now, engage me in conversation, and then evaluate my mental health, the last thing they would say would be, “Wow. Karen sure is tormented.”
Okay, so maybe not today. But am I EVER the girl in the painting?
I admit it. I go through times of torment. In fact, the truth is, I’m usually smoldering. Coals perpetually glowing deep down inside. The kind that flash when least expected, setting off raging, destructive forest fires.
Why the torment, huh?
The torment I feel is—and always has been—the result of broken connections.
There are people I encounter along the journey with whom I deeply long to be connected in a way that actually means something. In a precious way. In a way that’s worth thinking about and writing about.
At those times, with those people, I long for connections that make me laugh and cry at the same time. Ones that won’t snap at the first sign of trouble, but will weather the fiercest of storms. Ones so honest that a particularly poignant encounter might result in both pain and pleasure.
I crave people who won’t shrink at my bold disclosures of self—who can tolerate all I have to dish out without running for the hills in fear. And more than that, I crave people who will disclose who they are to me. All of it. Or as much as they can possibly muster. Nothing fills me up more than that.
Above all, I want to laugh with someone. I want to laugh so hard that I cry and pee my pants. I want to pass out from laughter-exhaustion. I want my side-muscles to ache the following day.
These kinds of incredible connections are extremely rare in my life. And when, for one reason or another, they become broken, I suffer deeply.
Tormented? Yeah, I guess.
There’s this “push/pull” thing going on about intimacy with me. I crave it/I fear it. I can’t live without it/I have no idea how to have it. I want the real thing more than anything/I am absolutely certain I will never really have it. More torment.
Will I be the girl in the painting tomorrow?
Maybe. That's okay, I guess... as long as my breasts never look like that. I wish I could say I will forever be mentally strong, healthy, and enlightened. But there's a mighty good chance that, eventually, my longing for such impossible connections with certain special people will torment me bitterly. My bio: Karen Haley works as a technical writer in Northern California. Her passions include classical piano, interior design, and the San Francisco Giants. She is a mother to Niccole, a grandmother to Izic, and a girlfriend to Brian. Her interviews and stories have appeared in publications including The Pacific Union Recorder and The Gleaner. She has contributed how-to articles for the ezine TechTrax (http://www.mousetrax.com/). Read her blog, IMNSHO, at http://karen051793.blogspot.com/. |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 16 September 2009 20:18 )
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Magdalena Radulescu, otra pintora desconocida |
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Written by Isabel del Río
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Thursday, 01 October 2009 00:00 |
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Por Isabel del Río
 Magdalena Radulescu es una maravillosa artista que he descubierto hace poco gracias a la también pintora Eugenia Dumitriu, con quien tuve el placer de hablar el pasado 28 de agosto cuando presentaba su última exposición, titulada “El Hemisferio de la
 | | pintado por Magdalena Radulescu |
Inmortalidad”, algunas de cuyas obras podéis apreciar ahora en la sección de poesía de este número.
Al igual que Eugenia, Magdalena provenía de Rumanía. Nació en 1902 en Valcea, estudio en la Academia de Artes Plásticas de Munchen (Alemania) y Grande Chaumiere de París y después de haber viajado y vivido en diferentes países (entre otros, ésta mi España) murió en el hotel Alma de París en 1983, pobre y soñando con volver a su tierra.
Elegante y delicada, fue en su tiempo muy valorada por introducir en la pintura europea la espiritualidad rumana tradicional de iconos y esencias puras y elevarla más allá, a un nivel universal, al de esa mujer que ya no es la Virgen de las iglesias ortodoxas de su tierra, sino la más moderna y universal, pero que sigue mirando al cielo, no para ver a ningún dios sino, como el maestro Brancusi, para crear una columna/cariátide de óleo y transparencias que nos comunique con lo transcendente.
Retratos y más retratos que se enredan con iconos |
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 21 March 2010 16:48 )
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Opiniones: La batalla de Sedán a través de la pluma de Émile Zola |
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Written by Ignacio Zara
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Thursday, 01 October 2009 00:00 |
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por Ignacio Zara
No hace mucho, leyendo “Eminescu y los 7 pecados capitales”, comprendí cuanta razón tiene su autor, nuestro apreciado Martín Cid, al afirmar que son los escritores quienes hacen la historia. Fue Galdós quien creó la leyenda de Trafalgar, nos dice Martín, y fue Émile Zola quien, con sus pormenorizadas y antibelicistas descripciones de su novela La Debacle, nos ha forjado la tremenda historia de la batalla de Sedán de 1870. |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 09 December 2009 11:19 )
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Opiniones: La prensa moderna nace con Émile Zola |
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Written by Máximo Palacios
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Thursday, 01 October 2009 00:00 |
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Por Máximo Palacios
Siempre hemos oído decir que la prensa moderna nace en 1888 con el caso de Jack el Destripador -aquel loco que asesinaba para descuartizar, con la pericia de un médico o de un carnicero, prostitutas que, para más interés, andaban en estrecha relación con miembros de la familia real británica-. |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 09 December 2009 11:17 )
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Opiniones: Émile Zola, genial humana contradicción |
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Written by Isabel del Río
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Thursday, 01 October 2009 00:00 |
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Por Isabel del Río
 | | Foto de Émile Zola |
Este verano, en Valladolid, en la sala de exposiciones municipal de San Benito, ha habido una interesante y novedosa exposición sobre el trabajo fotográfico de Zola quien llegó a hacer más de 7.000 placas fotográficas de, según hemos podido apreciar por la muestra, gran calidad.  | | Foto de Émile Zola |
A mí Zola me resulta genial y abrumador o ¿debería decir abrumador y genial? |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 09 December 2009 11:16 )
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