Today is Charlie Sheen’s Birthday. Let’s celebrate it with 10 of his best quotes. Enjoy them and, please, if you’re name is Charlie, you have your pocket full of money and you don’t remember where you are, please, Mr. Sheen, take care.
“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”
“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
“I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.”
“The nights I don’t sleep it’s because there’s a higher calling telling me to stand guard.”
“I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm.”
“Tiger blood will drip from my veins in my quest. Defeat is not an option. She is an absolute traitor and she must be banished. She will be living under a bridge, toothless and confused.
“Dying is for fools, amateurs.”
“I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”
“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”
“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them, just look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”