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Alan S Kleiman Poetry: Dead Weight. Yareah magazine Awesome Poems and Poetry

Alan S Kleiman Poetry: Dead Weight. Yareah magazine Awesome Poems and Poetry

Alan S Kleiman and his poetic realities: Dead Weight

Today, enjoy this sarcastic poem, Dead Weight, by the American author Alan S Kleiman. Enjoy the awesome rhythm, the fine sense of humor and think of our daily realities: stressful, gluttonous, senseless and wasteful realities.

Alan S Kleiman Poetry: Dead Weight

Alan S Kleiman Poetry: Dead Weight

DEAD WEIGHT

I used to weigh 199

then I took some strawberries

and a cantaloupe

which, mind you, I had cut into sections

and removed the peel

and placed into a bowl

with a fork

then I took three grapes with a scissor

cut them off the main stem

and cut each grape off the stem

playing around –I know-

then sprinkled salt and pepper on the lot of them

poured Tabasco sauce over the left half

ketchup over the right half

and drizzled olive oil-extra extra virgin -across the top

champagne vinegar across the bottom

sprinkled a spoon of sugar spread evenly

and a pinch of curry powder

got a bottle of red wine

and a half a bottle of vodka

minced blueberries with onions

in the mortar

pulverized them into a pretty fine paste

and prepared Carr’s wafers with this paste.

“How’s your diet coming” she asked

“Excellent” I replied.

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Alan S. Kleiman is the author of GRAND SLAM, a Collection of Poems published by Crisis Chronicles Press. His poetry appears in numerous magazines and journals including Yareah, Verse Wisconsin, The Criterion, Right Hand Pointing, Camel Saloon, Stone Path Review, and AfricanHadithi. His poems are in anthologies published by Fine Line Press and Red Ocher Press and have been translated into Spanish, Russian, Polish, Norwegian, Danish and Ukrainian. He appeared at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts as a featured poet in the performing arts series. Alan lives in New York City and works as an attorney when not writing poems.

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