Chapter VIII. The Downhill Trio by Bobby Fox

Chapter VIII. The Downhill Trio by Bobby Fox
30 Days with Bobby Fox: The Downhill Trio

30 Days with Bobby Fox: The Downhill Trio

And then, as though on cue from an unreleased John Hughes movie, a group of rowdy Russians (two guys and three girls) approached the hot tub, jabbering away in their native tongue. Their “leader” – who we would later come to know as Andrei – carried a large bottle of vodka. He had long, flowing Fabio-esque blonde hair (Fabiov?) and looked as though he could have been the Russian love child of Gerard Depadieu’s and Chris Farley. And to top it all off, he wore a Speedo designed as a Russian flag.

We watched with wonderment and amusement.

“My ex is from Ukraine,” I whispered to Adriana and Melody.

The Russians entered the tub – with the exception of Andrei – who leaped into the tub. They proceeded to pass the bottle of vodka around, each taking enormous swigs.

“Mind of I have some of that?” Melody asked, taking us by surprise.

“Of course,” Andrei said in a thick-accented, almost condescending tone, as though there were only one logical answer to this question.

Andrei passed the bottle to Melody, who took a moderate swig, before passing it on to me.

“Naw, I’m good.”

“Don’t be a pussy,” Melody said, now clearly drunk.

“Vodka and I don’t mix. Especially when combined with red wine.”

“Drink it!” Adriana demanded forcefully, leaving me little choice.

I took the path of least resistance – a baby sip …or as Melody pointed out, a pussy sip.

“Take it like a man!,” Adriana commanded.

So I did, at which point I gagged like a child taking cough medicine. Half of my sip ended up in the hot tub.

“Give me that,” Adriana said, grabbing it out of my unworthy hand. I really wasn’t, which was fine by me. To me, dinking straight vodka is on par with drinking urine – only much more dangerous. I learned this lesson all too well in Ukraine. I wasn’t about to re-learn it here in Canada. I’ll stick to beer, eh?

Adriana passed the bottle back to Andrei.

“Thanks,” Adriana said.

“My pleasure,” Andrei said with a flirtatious wink, proceeding to take a long, masculine swig without so much of a blink of the eye. And then, suddenly, without warning, Andrei emerged from the hot tub, ran full speed, and barrel rolled into the snow. His bikinied comrades followed suit. I watched with stunned disbelief. From my experience, I knew Russians were tough … and thick-skinned. But I didn’t think their skin was immune from frostbite. Yet, here they were, frolicking half-naked in the snow. Andrei alternated kissing both girls. It was like watching a Swedish porn (“Swedish Snow Bunnies”).

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Bobby Fox is the award-winning writer of several short stories, plays, poems, a novel and 15 feature length screenplays. Two of his screenplays have been optioned to Hollywood. He is also the writer/director/editor of several award-winning short films. His recent stage directing debut led to an Audience Choice Award at the Canton One-Acts Festival in Canton, MI. Fox graduated from the University of Michigan with a B.A. in English and a minor in Communications and received a Masters of Arts in Teaching from Wayne State University. In addition to moonlighting as a writer, independent filmmaker and saxophonist, Fox teaches English and video production in the Ann Arbor Public Schools, where he uses his own dream of making movies to inspire his students to follow their own dreams. He has also worked in public relations at Ford Motor Company and as a newspaper reporter. He resides in Ypsilanti, MI.

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